im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
