my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
