And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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