Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
