I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
