A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize