so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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