You work out of a Hotel?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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