o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
