Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i dont even know how to be here
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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