so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize