Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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