he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
