Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
