Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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