I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I want a musical about memes.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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