batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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