I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
