Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
