Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
