her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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