I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
