David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
