exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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