belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
