I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
