I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
