im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
