I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
