Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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