Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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