I'm laying in your front yard are you home
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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