The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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