Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize