I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Randomize
