I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
