Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
