All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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