you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
