wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
