He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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