When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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