they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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