I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
