we're chasing vodka with high fives
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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