You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
