Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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