No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
