you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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