Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
