I just made out with a guy for $7.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
