For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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