He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
