if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
