I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we made out on top of his cat.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize