i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
