I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
