they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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