Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize