she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize