Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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