I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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