I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
