I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
