I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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