This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I deserve this hangover.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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