Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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