you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
