Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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